Cool Table Board Game

I’m the designer of the board game Cool Table, as seen on Cards Against Humanity’s Tabletop Deathmatch:

So what’s the deal with Cool Table?

teen mom squad cool table gameWelcome to Fred Rogers High School, home of the Fighting Neighbors. As one of the anonymous masses roaming the halls you’ve seen cliques ascend to power only to get crushed, time and time again. But now you’ve discovered their secrets. You and your fellow players have learned the right strings to pull, and armed with Munchitos (everyone’s favorite food-like snack substance!) and your wits, you’ll rule the school. Make the right deals with the right cliques and you could be sitting pretty at the Cool Table.

In Cool Table, players take on the role of shadowy overlords in a local high school. Players wheel and deal their way through the cafeteria, trying to be the first one to move any clique onto the Cool Table. After all – it’s not what you do, it’s who you know. Make that first move, and you’ll score a seat at the Cool Table.

The game features 8 uniques cliques:

  • Calcumancers – Armed with TI-89s, the Calcumancers are a mysterious and mathy bunch. The one who controls the numbers controls everything else – at least, according to the Calcumancers. Math is magical and those who possess its powers can reap the rewards.
  • Future Serfs of America – Not everyone can be a knight or a princess, and nobody knows that better than the Future Serfs of America. Their aims are a bit less…lofty…than the other cliques. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with knowing your place!
  • Geekroids – It happened last semester. All of a sudden, the folks who play D&D in the halls started to look a little more…buff. It wouldn’t have anything to do with those late-night chem lab visits, would it? Yes. Yes, it would. These guys have a serious case of ‘roid rage, so get with the geek or get out.
  • Roboys – Are they robots or are they boys? Nobody beep bop boops! You can find the RoBoys hanging out in the computer lab, reprogramming their body parts or spitting phat beats. Make sure you don’t take them too far from an outlet, or things could get hairy.
  • Storm Tubas – Those who can’t get with the beat need to get out – or the Storm Tubas will make sure you’ll never move again. One of the more dangerous cliques on campus, they’re out to get anyone who’s not in uniform. Want to get in good with them? You’re going to need more than a little bit of fascism.
  • Teen Mom Squad – Being in high school is such a drag. Why wait to get your life started? The Teen Mom Squad proves that you really can have it all – even in high school. Just don’t tell one of them that you think their precious lil angel looks like a Mr. Potato Head. Being a mom doesn’t mean they won’t cut a bitch.
  • Whee! Club – Wonder how the all-singing, all-dancing glee clubs manage to stay so damn perky all the time? Pills. It’s pills. And lots of them, if the Whee! Club is an example. These fast-talking, fast-moving overly-chipper folks are just so gosh-darned excited to have you here and hey, would you happen to have any Ritalin on hand? No?
  • Yachters Without Borders – As long as you’re rich, you might as well do something good with all that money you have, right? The Yachters Without Borders are out to prove that just because you’re really fucking rich doesn’t mean you can’t do some good in the world. Even very, very rich people can make a difference.

You can check out the rules for yourself. 

Can I play it?

Currently, Cool Table is in development. I’m continuing to blind playtest – if you’re interested in checking it out, let me know on Twitter @athingforjaz. #CoolTableGame

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