So folks who know me for-reals know that I’m crafty. They also know that I’m busy as all getout. My work schedule leaves a lot to be desired (even if you really, really like your three jobs, they can sometimes be draining) and yes, I have a social life. But sometimes, in the midst of all that busy-ness, it’s someone’s birthday or my fingers just itch to do something weird and crafty. This time around, it was definitely the birthday thing.
A quick aside – I’m going to have to be as vague as possible, since I’ve shared this blog with all of five people, and one of them is having a birthday soon, and I don’t want that person to know what I’m making. So let’s just pretend it’s papier mache.
When you’re both busy, and crafty, and under a deadline, starting a new project at 2am seems perfectly reasonable. This is absolutely the wrong choice to make. You’ll have all your newspaper strips and glue and balloons (you use balloons in papier mache, right?)
- You’ll come across the following comment on a Martha Stewart tutorial and find it both compelling and hilarious:
Dear Martha Stewart, I just wanted to know if there is a maximum height you can achieve with papier mache?
Sincerely, in Christ Jesus the Lord,
- Glitter becomes less of a stylistic choice and more of a personal religion.
- Challenging the maximum height of papier mache is suddenly an all-consuming task.
- Inhaling glitter seriously hurts.
- You’d be surprised at how quickly a project can go from “Pinterest-ready” to “small but easily manageable house fire” (there’s fire in papier mache, right?)
- Not even Jesus Christ the Lord can help the epic disaster scene you’ve left in the kitchen. Maybe Martha could.
Pro tip: Don’t fall asleep anywhere near an open container of Mod Podge if you like having hair.